Tag Archives: asexual


11 May

Some amazing work sent into us from an anonymous campus street artist bringing attention to the invisibility of many underrepresented UW-Madison students. Anyone else seen these around?

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ASEXY: Part 2.2

4 May

Miss E and Caity Stardust finally finish installment 2.2 of A Fireside Chat where the discussion focuses on asexuality representation in ABC Family’s Huge.

Pardon the Glossolalia… Are you down with the LQP?

2 May

It’s part of our explanation of who we are: “We are academics and queer theorists. In that, we understand that sometimes we use language in a way that does not fit popular definitions or understandings.” However, if we insist that all visitors and contributors “be explicit” in the use of terms, I think it wise to attempt to come to some agreement upon what these terms mean. Therefore, realizing that we have been using words but may not have been providing that which is needed in order to critique our contributions, I have attempted to assemble a glossary that I hope will be useful for those in the capstone as well as those who are just passing through as we find our way.

This glossary should be, must be, a living document; it should in no way be misinterpreted as the all-inclusive, definitive authority on meanings or interpretations – that would be impossible. Please feel free to interrogate the concepts, clarify the ‘definitions,’ and/or refocus the connotations as you see fit. Did I miss something? Please, let me know. After all, we are all finding our way, but if you don’t know what I am saying or vice versa… we might have an issue or two as we move forward – that is, assuming we can agree on which way is forward…

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I’m Not Really Attracted To Anyone…

2 May

  I remember the first time I had the courage to ask my best friend, indirectly, if he liked anyone. Obviously that was my way of finding out his preference. I remember feeling  guilty for wanting to ask, but at the same time, wanting to know after our six year  friendship so I could be that support he needed – like he was for me – without him  having to worry about negative reactions he thought I would have. I felt like keeping his romantic life out of our relationship was not fair to him. It was tiring how obsessed people were to find out what he identified as, it started to affect me, making me become hot tempered with anyone who asked. “I’m not really attracted to anyone,” was his response. I remember questioning him more, “really? Not even someone in high school dude, come on, we’ve known each other for six years.” Yet, he insisted that he never felt an attraction to anyone. I had never heard of this or discussed this topic growing up or in any of my classes at that time. This was the first time I looked up on the internet, or any reference book, what it meant to not be attracted to anyone. 

Asexuality was the termed that popped up and until the day he came out to me as gay, I always believed he identified as asexual. Yet, when we discussed the conversation mentioned above, we came up with different conclusions. Despite it being years, I still remember his response vividly, yet for him, being a first generation Latino male student and insinuating he was asexual was his way of assuring that his identity was not outed. It was an identity he was willing to use in order to express his identity to others, and served as assurance that he would stop being questioned. He and I spoke about it for a while, he explained he did not know how to explain his lack of a female relationships to impatient family members who constantly asked him about his romantic life or as he said, “trying to find out if I’m gay.” This temporary identity he took, was viewed as less detrimental to his overall well-being because he was not acknowledging an attraction to men nor was he acknowledging an attraction to women, thus still ensuring connections were kept with his family back home if anyone were to hear about his asexual identity.

I never realized how this identity could be used in instances such as these, and how it really helped my best friend incorporate it into an identity that helped him progress/survive through his own personal experience as a first generation gay male Latino college student. I am reading more into this and seeing if I find scholarly research on it, but what do you all think? My friend did not identify as asexual yet related to the identity whenever he wanted to give that impression in order to keep himself safe; can one say that is being selfish/claiming a word that is not yours? I know it’s up to the person and how they identify as, but I am asking this in comparison to the debate of the missing “b” and what does it means to have that identity and how you value it, versus how other people perceive you to be and question those individuals they may feel aren’t really bisexual; Lady Gaga being one of them as mentioned by Kelsey. Does asexuality have the fluidity that we acknowledged existed within the bisexual identity?  

Posted by Maria L”

A Rambling on Asexuality

18 Apr

Asexuality is generally defined as a lack of sexual attraction. Like Miss E & Caity Stardust mentioned in part 1 of their video blog, this definition is overly simplified.

I think that in LGBTQ Studies, we’re pretty used to making distinctions between desire, behavior and identity. In discussions about asexuality, it’s often broken-down even further and distinctions are made between sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and other aspects of attraction/sexuality that are often conflated. There’s something I really like about breaking it down like that.
Obviously no group is ever entirely heterogeneous, but there’s something I really like about the idea that asexuality, defined by a “lack” of something, is so, so extremely diverse. And to say something is “lacking” carries a negative connotation, and considering the many ways of being asexual, it seems strange to say something is lacking because there’s really a lot going on.
I know we’ve mentioned AVEN a few times on our blog, and I just discovered is that AVEN has it’s own Wiki. I’m sure other people might’ve discovered this already, but for anyone who is curious like I am, I’d recommend just looking around at AVENwiki. I read about a lot of different terms and aspects of asexuality which caused my “whoaaa I never thought about it like that before” moment to snowball, including “squishes” and demisexuality. Sooo check it out!
Posted by: Rachel

The Sexual Identity Binary

12 Apr

This is what medical students are learning in a clinical skills class.

Where to begin… Thoughts? Comments?

Posted by Claire Peterson via Erica Andrist

A Ignorance Hurts

11 Apr

(Source: luliicattaneo)

If You Can See The Invisible Elephant, Please Describe It (via Writing From Factor X)

11 Apr

An incredible piece of work from Factor X.

Sam posted a piece last week about the limits of "sexual attraction" as a term, and I've been feeling confused and ranty ever since. It's a good piece, and you should read it, but mostly what it's done is remind me why I get frustrated a lot by discussions like this. See, I'm one of those really analytical people who likes to quantify things. I like to have certainty. I like to have operational definitions for my terms so I'm sure what we're all … Read More

via Writing From Factor X

ASEXY: A Fireside Chat, Part 1

7 Apr

This “Fireside Chat” is the first in a multi-part series exploring asexuality in contemporary society, brought to you by Caity Stardust and Miss E.

We hope you enjoy!